Damn it Spring, why did you have to come so soon? I’m putting away my blazers and urban structured pieces and replacing them with light unstructured fabrics. But, I won’t put my winter clothes away without one last #RocktheCrop urban look. In the spirit of staying away from “flattering” and wearing what I want, this outfit introduces the work to my fat belly.
My fat belly and I have always been the best frenemies. I remember, what felt like, endless summers at the water park with my friends and noticing the stretch marks on my stomach. At 13 years-old, I felt like all of my friends were staring at the tiger stripes I had going up my sides. My stomach wasn’t as flat as my friends’ and my skin wasn’t dimple free. At 13, your body is changing and you start to realize when you stop looking quite like everyone else. It never stopped me from wearing bikinis, but my fat belly served as a constant reminder to “suck it in.”
Rock the Crop – My fat belly
My fat belly and I have been on many adventures together. My fat belly is the pocket that holds my yummy nibbles when I am on my food adventures. This belly supports my ability to take large breaths when hiking to top of some of Southern California’s highest hill tops. Though my belly is soft, it protects the pieces of me that makes life possible. I am not ashamed of my protruding gut, nor am I embarrassed of my stretch marks.
Some days I wish I could go back to 13 year-old me, in line for the water slides looking down at where my feet should have been, and tell her it’s OK. I would tell her that one day, your fat won’t matter quite as much as you think it does now. One day you will see your reflection and no longer ask yourself “why?”
What should I look like, anyway?
What the magazines don’t tell you about body love is that when you stop looking at others for how you SHOULD be, you create it yourself. The key to accepting my body has been to stop dwelling on what I should look like and just see myself for what I am now. The word “should” implies that you have a duty, a responsibility, and a path to correctness. When you look at yourself in the mirror and say you should look a certain way, it creates a mental image of being wrong. Your existence is not wrong. There is no wrong way to be a woman. There is no wrong way to have a body. At the end of the day you are what you are.